Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Two fat ladies - Write on Wednesday

I almost didn't participate in W.o.W. this week but couldn't resist the 'Two fat ladies' exercise. I used the Great Gatsby even though I felt like cheating and using the ninth book instead of the eighth. Here it is:

    The windows were ajar and gleaming white against the fresh grass outside that seemed to grow a little way into the house. Jesse paused as a breeze blew in. She hated it really, but having the windows (at least partially) open was an old habit that stemmed from her childhood. As soon as she had turned 18 she had left her house, however the customs and tiresome traditions weren't so quick to leave her. Every morning upon awakening Jesse would crack the windows, dress as if going to an important event, and make a pot full of coffee no one would drink. She would go through the house making sure nothing was unnecessarily using energy and she never let the day go by without having mopped the kitchen. Running away was no use. Here she was without her family and still she felt trapped by them.

9 comments:

InkPaperPen said...

You have written about a simple but seemingly universal thing. We do take our family with us in this way and I found myself identifying with bits along the way. The turning off of lights, doing things because it's simply the example you were set.You captured my interest. Glad you decided to join in - this was a great exercise.

Gill x

Lillie McFerrin said...

Most can relate to being chained, in someway or another, to things we'd rather leave behind. I love how you used simple, everyday things to show deeper emotions. Nice job!

Kimberlee said...

Ahhhh... how easy it is to relate to this piece. Nicely done. :D

Kerry said...

I agree with the above comments. Such a simple situation to relate to, yet you used it to display more complex emotions. Nice job in your writing.

Sarah Mac said...

Old habits do die hard don't they? I can relate to this too in many ways.

Lene said...

I agree with everyone here, such a relatable piece and really well written.

Susannah said...

Oh that last line "Running away was no use. Here she was without her family and still she felt trapped by them." Is so profound and so true. We carry it/them within us wherever we go. I really liked this piece.

Marinela said...

Relate able piece and beautifully written!

Mikha said...

:)Old habits are die hard kill and to forget... Leaving a side the writting it's just... like... awesome the way you can make feel a emotion in a short history :)