Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Being (Staying) Away aka Does This Count?
It's been so long since I posted! I've been having a dry spell in which I tried to write but came up empty. While I sat at my desk squeezing the life out of words that wouldn't get along with each other I reached the big one-eight, which inevitably led to a gazillion dinner dates (comes with the territory of having a large family and indivdually going out with them to have an officially grown-up talk), moments in which I tried to make myself feel like an adult, panic attacks at my failure to do so, and trying to quit thinking I'm still a teenager (technically I am but you know what I mean). Did I mention I don't feel like an adult at all? Frankly that scares me because I feel as if I should go do something important. It's sad really. I hate to say it but I wish I could rewind to my thirteenth birthday. So, my wise advice to everybody is: Don't do what I did and realize too late that the time between 13 and 18 is a time to sow not reap.
Regarding my dry spell, I keep telling myself, "I will participate in Write on Wednesday this week. I will!" And then I never do. Then I tell myself, "Saturday is coming, get a move on your OSI poem!." But Saturday comes and goes and no poem. I could go on and on about the things I meant to write that never became a reality but what's the point? Anyway, I edited some old stuff (ok maybe it was just one paragraph) that I hope counts as writing (it's part of the process no?), but other than that I wrote nothing new.This thing that comes on a whim isn't really writers' block. I've had that before and it's different. No, this is more like I-have-an-idea-and-a-billion-days-later-I-still-haven't-been-able-to-put-it-to-paper. It's a real disease, I swear.
Labels:
angst,
birthday,
getting old,
One Single Impression,
personal,
Write on Wednesday
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